Monday, December 21, 2015

Walmart Virus Depends on You!

Motivational Plaque

I see these daily Walmart stock quotes posted near the employee lounge, saying 'the future of the company depends on you!' and I laugh.




What $180 billion company with 4,655 stores in the United States and 6,288 stores internationally has its stock price depend on the performance of an hourly wage employee!? That's not how the stock market works, number 1... and number 2, it would be a very poor business plan to say the least to have the fate of such a behemoth corporation weigh upon its lowest paid worker.

"Johnson, what's on the agenda for today's board of directors meeting?

Well, sir ... Billy-Bob in Topeka, Kansas didn't smile while clearing a clog in the toilet and a customer posted a dissatisfied review on Google maps.

Good lord, alert the media that our stock prices will drop by 20 cents!"

Propaganda


Now, I get that the 'you' in the stock sign could be a collective pronoun describing all employees across the country. But that really dilutes the personal message effect that the propaganda sign is aiming to achieve.

If it were up to me alone, I would feel important and want to do my job well. The fate of the company is in my hands, me! But if the sign was actually talking to the lazy guy behind me, the terrible boss I hate, and all the other 1.3 million no-name employees... then well, what difference do I make?

And what if I did a great job, and stock prices still went down... should I work even harder? Will that solve Doug McMillon's financial woes?

At best the sign can be translated as a message to 'work harder to make me more money, slave! You should feel important to be a tiny insignificant wooden peg in this great monstrosity.'

Tomorrow depends on socio-economic composition


How Walmart really thrives is by maintaining its omnipresence across the country, tapping into the population of low-income consumers. Having thousands of locations in every area imaginable makes sure that wherever you are, if you are low-income, you will be spending your money at Walmart.

You can see why the upper class and the lowest class vote the same political direction. The larger the low-income population, the more business Walmart will get. The more money Walmart has, the more stores it opens to give poor people jobs to spend in their store.

Plus, lazy, fat, and/or disabled people get to ride around in motorized shopping carts! Anarchistic vagrants like myself and truckers get access to free WiFi, restrooms, and modest sleeping accomodations in their endless parking lot.

Motorized shopping cart image

 

The Virus


Looking at a map of Walmart locations, it's similar to seeing a virus spreading across the vitals of the country. At every major artery intersection, you'll find a Walmart. It's like the roadways carry the virus in the country's bloodstream. Wherever sources of financial nutrients are to be found, areas populated by human consumers, the virus deposits itself and attaches to its host. It would be an interesting investigation to simulate the spread of a virus and compare it to a map of Walmart sites.


I bet the government infectious disease control agencies have some kind of simulation like that. Every time you hear bird flu, or swine malaise, or Africanized bee cold, or mad cow fever, or SARS allergies... and they show those red dots spreading across the map of the US in 36 hours, killing all of the Earth's population if we don't kick out some immigrants... I bet some guy from the gummermint just pulls out a map of Walmart sites and highlights them in red.
Spread of the Walmart virus

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