Depression: an unexpected error has occurred

All that I ask for is an explanation

"I just want to know Why!?!"

We need to live in a world that makes sense.

It may not be accurate nor precise, but it needs to be self-consistent and reliably hold up to the extent of our personal scrutiny when compared against the external realities we face.

Why do we need the world to make sense? Because we need to know what to do in order to get what we need. We are not invertebrate organisms that recoil upon touch and dance when dropped in a brothy culture. Our brains do not simply shut off - to permit us to biologically persist on the faith of knee-jerk reactions.

The brain must conduct at all times, and therefore it must know something that represents what exists outside it. We must have an conceptualized internal framework of The World exterior to our body in order to conduct our behavior.


Why fix what ain't broken?

"If it's good enough for me, then it's good enough for you."

Some are satisfied to think little and be happy, not question the tenets of reality for lack of motivation (can't see no point in asking pointless questions) or for fear (God forbids I question his ways. May I not be cast out from the paradise of Eden.) or for lack of comprehension (come again? oh, check out that hot girl sitting by the window. huh? what were you saying?).

But a happy conceptual interpretation of life is not one-size-fits all. Sometimes we are forced to change the way we understand the world by circumstances outside our control. The death of someone close to us. Relocating to a new environment. The world in our head no longer traces the outlines of the world outside our eyelids, lines of stark conflict jar the eye.

For every reason we give to let our life be just the way it is, life provides a counterargument. The former world that we thought was fair and malleable to our actions now seems obtuse - an intolerable guest in Our Domain of Life, and we must reconsider; 'What is our role in the world around us?'

Then there are times we wish to grow our conscious realm for reasons of our own. Perhaps we are naturally curious and wish to understand more of the world than we already know. Perhaps the basic construct for life that suffices most other minds is insufficient to the task that occupies our own. Perhaps the existing world in our head is uninteresting and repetitive, so we seek to invent a more satisfying experience.


An onset of hopelessness

"I might go on, naught else remained to do." - Childe Roland

Depression is one behavioral manifestation of an internal world that has stopped making sense. Perhaps we have aged; we changed and so did the world around us. Perhaps we have seen too much, or seen too little of reality and the effect is to invalidate our conceptual model. Life as it was does not agree to facts with life as it is. We are shackled to an unrectifiable flaw in our world.

There is nothing we can do to overcome this barrier, which prevents us from the pattern of acquiring our needs through premeditated action. We stop taking action. No action can fix the flaw in our reality. Reality has broken down. Motivation is meaningless.

There is no point to action, because the dependable principle of cause and effect has flown the coop. We are pedaling with no chain on the bicycle. Why bother? I will just fall down, no matter how fast or strong I pedal.

The legitimacy of the scam has been discredited. What's the use in throwing money in, when I no longer believe I will get 200% return investment when the week is done?


Reason to Madness

"Computers always do what you tell them to, but what they do is not always what you want.

And what is wrong with that???? It is absolutely RATIONAL that one loses hope when reality fails. It would be LUNACY to continue worshiping false idols if the big G came public, created another universe from the rib of this one to please us, and then announced his campaign for presidency.

The dysfunction is not in the execution of the brain, but the unsolvable problem you are presenting it. Every computer program should anticipate invalid inputs a bonehead user can provide. But if the software did not foresee a possible potato in the tailpipe, it crashes.

Is the hardware faulty? (OKAY YOUR SOFTWARE CRASHED, THROW OUT YOUR COMPUTER ITS BROKEN AND BUY A NEW ONE - that's basically the advice of the prescription psychiatrist) - No but, you told it to do something that don't make no damn sense!

Your brain throws one catch-all exception just like the computer program! Fuck this, I'm outa here bye. Don't do nothing for the next six months, just stay in bed, why bother?


Life itself is the cure

"Life giveth and life taketh"

The real cure for depression is two-fold. Experience and understanding.

Valid inputs - career/life opportunities, promising personal relationships, etc - and (both as a consequence of the former, as well as a distinct effort of its own) a debugging, perhaps a rewriting of the software's instructions and of underlying assumptions about the world.

Depression is not a failing, but a task credited to you by your brain to make of life, something more.