Diary: Importance of a Dream

"If I do close my eyes, what is it that I picture years from now? Like Leon said, doesn't one need to understand that before they're ready to fight for their existence? How would my future fairy tale unfold?...

A world I've always wanted. And you know what? I'd like very much to fight for it."

- Elliot Anderson. Mr. Robot S2E4

To someone who feels alone, I share a realization. It's not you who is alone. It's everybody. This society is self-centered. We don't hold on to values, causes, relationships. Each person is willing to give up their own for money, for a job, for survival. Self preservation. It makes it easier for us to be divided and controlled. Everybody is alone.

How many times I have heard the excuse "I need a job." "I don't like it, but I need money." It's so ingrained in them. For those two things, people will forgo the actual needs in life. It's like people's brains don't logically connect the real reasons anymore. You need food to eat so you can stay alive. You need to work and participate with other people to maintain your physical and mental health. You need clothing and shelter to protect your body. You need electricity to operate tools, and wireless communication to exchange information, and fuel for transportation. Those are your essential needs. Not money or a job.

You say you cannot get any of those things without money, and you can't get money with a job. But I remind you again, what is the real reason? What is the point of working a job to make money, if your money doesn't provide those things? And what is the point of what small sliver of life is left over for yourself after doing all those things to make money? Why are you alive? What purpose do you have besides eating and shitting?

The point of a job and your position in society is to deny you of purpose. Your only reason for living is to carry out someone else's plan. The American Dream of upward mobility is a lie. You, guarding all your material goods and modern amenities, are a slave. And that's why you are sad at night, empty during the day, and lost when you think about your life. You are an empty vessel that you fill with entertainment, consumer goods, and Jesus.

You have no mind - it is painful to think for yourself, because then you would see the naked ugly world that you live in. You let prepackaged formulated thoughts float into your brain and out your mouth. You let people tell you what to do and what to like and what to be. And when you can't attain that single universal standard set by magazine covers and movie stars, you guilt yourself into thinking you're a loser, your weakness is responsible for this, you deserve it. Then you go into work the next day and hide your shame from other people who are hiding just like you.

Instead of embracing each other, and pointing our eyes among our own, seeing we have the goodness in life already, recognizing we are kept in prison cells preventing us from sharing that goodness... our eyes point upward to God, ignoring that we are confined and judging ourselves unworthy and doomed to eternal punishment without Him. God is anything we make it: in the TV, in the store, on Facebook, across the street ... any secular thing to replace God will serve the same purpose. God loves us, sets rules how we can be with Him, and persuades us to be miserable without Him.

People who drink the Kool-Aid think they have their life figured out, they just need to hold on to the illusion with their daily maintenance: denial when things don't go as advertised and pretending things are great until then. All that those people have to do to fight for survival, is to defend a life prefabricated for them. But for me, like Mr. Robot, I reject society's vision for my future, so I have to create my own. I need to visualize the life I hope to attain first, before I am willing to fight for it.