Groceries and Lunch

Single Item Checkout

I buy single items from Costco, and sometimes I get surprised comments from the receipt security at the exit. (Well, one package of food items.)

So I need a witty rejoinder to compensate. Here are responses from two trips.

#1. Lady: Wow, quite a shopping list there!

• My other shopping cart is full!

#2. Gentleman: Only one item?

• My motto is "One step at a time".
  
  Gentleman: Atta boy!

"All you can eat"

I treat the buffet slogan "all you can eat!" not as a reassurance, but as a mandate.

Food porn: shrimp salad

I go to the Monday to Friday lunch buffet once or twice a week. It is a cost-effective way to get quality nutrition into my diet. Usually, I eat four plates of food over the course of one hour. I don't leave any food on my plate.

Today's haul

Today I took smaller portions and cleaned five plates with a bowl of soup.

Some of the contents in my stomach:

• Three ribs of bbq pork. (eat the cartilage, it's useful)
• Two hunks of grilled steak 
• 8 salt and pepper shrimps
• An orange, a kiwi (helps you fall asleep), four slices each of cantaloupe and honeydew melon, 
• Two baked mussels, a square of salmon (eat the skin, it's nutritious) and of sole fish.
• Mushrooms, string beans, a cheese and bacon stuffed potato
• Three sushi (for the thick avocado slices)
• Salad (dark greens have more nutrition, but have less water) with eggs, cucumber, olives, and ranch dressing.
• Two egg tarts, apple cobbler, and a cream cheese Crab Rangoon.

Of course, I leave holding a Karry-out soft serve ice cream. Vanilla is my preference.

Final price with tax and tip: $10.00 = $7.99 meal + $0.61 tax (7.63%) + $1.40 tip (17.5%)

A buffeter's guide

A buffet can be a boon or a bloat depending on how you approach it. There are so many choices, it's easy to make a bad decision and end up with an uncomfortable meal. The buffet also offers a rewarding challenge. 'Unlimited portions with the freedom to choose! Make the best of me and you will leave satisfied!'

Here's some tips and strategies I follow in my buffet regime. Before I begin let me warn you that the goal I set for myself is not a pleasure tasting cruise. I'm there to get as much food and nutrition as I can, so I don't go hungry and have to pay for it later. Remember my mandate: "all you can eat!"

Skip the filler

I don't eat bread, rice, noodles, or pasta at the buffet. Not because I'm on an Atkins 'carbs are evil' diet, but because these foods fill up your stomach without providing much nutrition. I get carbs cheap at any time during the day. In the evening when I get hungry, I can snack on granola bars or munch a $1 loaf from Walmart to supplement my carb-less lunch.

Avoid man-made flavors

I also avoid breaded fried foods, greasy entrees, salty dishes, and sauces (spicy, sour, or sweet) for the most part. These pitfall foods can shut down an appetite and end a buffet run prematurely.

Breaded food soaks up a forehead of frying oil. Those sauteed chickens, porks, and beefs usually are drowning in more grease than tactical citrus can cut through. And various flavorful sauces, despite their allure, will start internal wars when they meet in your stomach.

It's not about what feels good to your tongue as it enters your mouth, it's about what feels good to your body as it goes through your stomach!

Imagine all the food on your plate in your stomach. 

That's a workload for your body, so be kind! Pick bland foods whenever possible. Stick with two or three staple entrees that cooperate with each other. String beans, mushrooms, and fish are generally safe to work with.

Guard your stomach

If you are new to a buffet, don't take more than one piece of anything covered with sauce until you know it's safe. Two greasy, heavily salted pieces of meat can ruin the slurry in your belly. Usually the most 'prized' meats are protected from binge eating by a greasy salty sauce, so approach them with extreme caution!

Natural foods like fruits and vegetables are unprotected, so eat a bit of everything and get as many colors as you can! Your body will feel good and getting all the colors are a sign you covered your bases for vitamins, etc. Man-made dishes, do NOT mix various flavors and colors. Seasonings and sauces that taste good separately can wreak havoc on the lining of your stomach.

It's like your body can only release one enzyme to break down certain artificial foods at a time, so if it encounters two opposite types it doesn't know which digestive enzyme to release! If I release Kung-Pao enzymes, then General Gao's goo will get me, but if I flood the chamber with General Gao enzymes, the Kung-Pao spices will kick my butt!

Pitfalls:
Some foods to (almost) never, ever, ever take from a (Chinese-style) buffet, that people commonly get.

• General Gao's chicken
• Lo mein
• French fries, pizza, onion rings, bread, mac & cheese, etc.
• Broccoli, zucchini, squash, and other fibrous vegetables. (competitive eaters stretch their stomachs with these high fiber, low calorie vegetables because they fill up the stomach without gaining pounds, but our objective is reverse, to put as much calories and nutrition into our stomach without getting full!)
• Dumplings, meat buns, spring rolls, and other breaded foods with meat filling.
• Most of the sushi offerings. Avoid the ones that are mostly imitation crab, cucumber, carrot, and cream cheese, and rice. Do take rolls with avocado and fresh salmon. 
• Most of the meat entrees in sauce. Expect a mouthful of salt, grease, MSG, and other artificial seasonings.

Generally safe eats:

• Fish: salmon, tilapia, sole. These are usually unsalted, clean sources of protein. Don't over-do it, because a few portions is all you need to get your protein. Beyond that, you're not getting much else from fish except filling your tummy's valuable real estate with fiber.
• String beans/ Green beans. Bland and healthy. Downside is they don't have too much nutritious content, so again, don't over-do it or you're adding unnecessary fiber.
• Mushrooms. Bland, juicy, and substitute nicely for meat. It's nice when you can eat these without downing a mouthful of water with each bite, as some of the greasy foods require!
• Salad bar. Cannot emphasize how invaluable salad is to a buffet run. It makes all the foods play nicely with each other. Dark green leaves are more nutritious than the watery iceberg lettuce, so prioritize them, but the naturally watery iceberg variety are good to stave off the urge to down the tall cup of water when you're grease-ridden. So mix 'em half and half.
• A *small*, big emphasis on small, bowl of soup. It helps fill in those crevices in your tummy and make everyone play nice, but a wet touch is all you need. Less is more.
• Crunchy orange chicken. Varies restaurant to restaurant, but many places call it "Sesame Chicken". It's sweet, it's dry, it's addictive. One of the few land meats that's safe to test.
• Pineapple/ coconut shrimp. It's this breaded fried shrimp covered in gooey white sauce. Most places it is a pitfall that you want to stay away from, but occasionally the sauce is light and yummy, the meat is dry (not soaking in frying oil). Can't know for sure without sampling it, so it is a bit of a gamble.
• Melons and fruit. As long as it's fresh, can't go wrong with fruit. It's not going to have sneaky invisible salt, MSG, or grease on it. They can't cook it wrong, because it's not cooked.
  
  Hey, we're not here for cooked dishes exclusively, we're here to eat all the nutritious food we can get. Fruit is not cheap or convenient to store, when our kitchen is the passenger seat of our car, and our cooking tool is a can opener.