Diary

A transgression

I went over my Data plan limit this morning.

Found a bench in Walmart next to a vending machine and plugged in. Was there for about 2 hours.

No internet so I used my mobile phone tethering feature to send internet from my phone to my laptop.
I had about 1.5 gigs of data left in the shared quota. Seeing as it's the last day to use it, I figured might as well use it up. Doubted that I could use that much data in a day.

How quickly I was wrong. In an hour, I used 1.6 gigs just browsing images and being in a chat room. How is that possible?

Piano

At the 21c Libray, there was a sign on a piano that read: "If you know how to play, you are welcome to". So I ignored the sign, went ahead and played anyways.

I learned lessons as a kid, but haven't practiced since I was 12 years old. I forget how to coordinate my left hand into the action, so my right hand did most of the talking. I played whatever notes came to mind or were in my heart. It was fun and spiritually liberating to release my emotions over the keys.

Dressing Room Selfies

I returned some unopened journals to TJ Maxx today. Since they don't sell any food, the $26 store credit they gave me back seemed useless. But then I remembered how cold it was at night, and thought I ought to purchase thermal sleepwear.

I did some apparel modeling in front of the dressing room mirror. Trying on clothes was fun. It reminds me how fortunate I am to have quality clothes, and to be able to buy something new whenever I need it.

Now all I need is an agent, some hair, a make-up team, swag, 50 lbs of muscle, and a bitchin' tattoo. I'll launch a modeling career. Calvin Klein billboard, here I come!

Be strong

Best. Library. Ever.

Pooblik Lyeberrie of tha Foochur! 

Call, write, Snapchat your local governor, statesman, or member of parliament and demand to have your obsolete library immediately bulldozed, and replaced with an exact replica of this one!

Library 21C (Pikes Peak Library District)
1175 Chapel Hills Dr.
Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Amenities

It has a concert hall with a piano.

Food for Thought

Absence is useful.

Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching. Verse 11. trans David Hinton.

I have a satirical view of society that lends a beautiful interpretation to the lines:

Presence gives things their value
but absence makes them work

The logical structure of the couplet can be simplified as a parallelism or a dichotomy:

Presence -> value
absence -> work

But I think of the concept more like this:

Presence -> absence -> Work -> value

Really, the value lies all within the work. Therefore creating absence is the real value. The valuable thing itself does no work, and as such, has no real value. Gold rings, fashionable clothing, luxury accommodation... produces no worth.

But to maintain an absence, a perceived value must be present and withheld. Their purpose serves to attract people to a life of useless wealth, and ironically the people must work and be useful in their attempt to attain this presence.

I would say instead:

Work gives life value
but presence creates absence

The Science of Staying Alive in a Freezer

The cold is real.

- How cold is it, Jonathan?

7 F outside

Diary with Pictures

Not much content going on today. I found a library at the University of Colorado: Colorado Springs (UCCS) - two 'Colorado's, I know. Just been drunk on high-speed WiFi (this university had guest access!), looking at and uploading dirty pictures. Lovin' this place!

UCCS library

Kids are on winter break, so nobody was at the library. I've never been in an university library this empty. There was so much territory available to me. I wanted to use ALL the group study rooms, all at the same time!

How amazing does this library lounge look? 

The sign on the table says reserved for the women's basketball team,
I suppose because NCAA sports pay the bills.

I know right? It's like a ski chateau with a mountain view.

Portrait of the Artist as a Young Flute Player

Saturday, 12/19

O'Fallon, MO. Walmart.
Pictures from this post.

Thanks to David of Judd's Photos (site, Facebook) for taking my photo, and spending time to do the post-processing!

Food for Thought

Confucius’s Analects

On seeking recognition for one's merits

1.16

The Master said: 'Do not be concerned

that no one recognizes your merits. Be concerned that you may not recognize others’.

Response: This is a form of 'tis better to give than to receive'. It is also many other things.

Don't be vain!

Do not be concerned about achieving things to be complimented. Value your merits for what you are able to accomplish using them, not so people will flatter your ears.

It's like the bodybuilder who only works out for looks, vs the athlete whose muscles look good because he uses them.

Value vs Vanity image

You can tell the muscular guy who has a body of vanity. He will get his ass kicked in a real fight. His muscles are big, but they aren't trained to handle real adversity, just repetitions of weights. He works out because he wants to seem like a tough, strong man... but getting big muscles alone doesn't do that.

Pictures

Ulix is anxious to hit the road again!

Where we going, man?

Anywhere we want, bro.

Let's go to Disneyland ®!

... fuck no. 

Are we there, yet? Just a little further...

Dusty Windmills of Your Mind

Diary in pictures

Crossing the Colorado border

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
...

I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.

- Alfred Lord Tennyson, Crossing the Bar.

Rest area at the Colorado border, i70 

Behold

Week 5 Map

Overview 

I've traveled 2,754 miles since the start of my journey on Monday, November 23rd. I am just within the Colorado border, in a town called Limon. Five weeks ago, I set out on this journey from Clifton, VA which is a town near our nation's capital.

I have a total driving time of about 46 hours, expending an estimated 76.5 gallons of gasoline which cost an estimated $137.70.

The direct driving distance between where I'm at and where I started is 1,614 miles. If I had gone the direct route, I could have arrived here in about 27 hours, expending an estimated 44.83 gallons of gasoline which cost an estimated $80.70.

This makes my journey, surplus distance-wise 70.6% inefficient.

Map of the Journey

App software: Maps.ME
Current location: Limon, CO.

Each dropped pin represents a location I visited or considered visiting. These include Walmart, public library, university, McDonald's, public park, highway rest area, and other.

Reprogrammed Behavior

Wavey Walmart Washbasin image

I'm so used to automatic hand faucets at Walmart, that when I came across a conventional faucet a few weeks ago in a hotel, I couldn't get it to work!

I tried dancing my hand back and forth in front of the overflow hole underneath the faucet, but it wouldn't give me my water! I was even staring at the knobs, and not comprehending how this faucet worked.

When I realized my folly, I was reminded of a book I read when I was around 10 years old.

House of Stairs by William Sleator is a children/young adult book about a social experiment where a group of teens are put in this M.C. Escher-style house of stairs. They are trained to dance when the colored patterns of a light at the center of this labyrinth flash red, to receive food and water.

At the end of the book, [Spoiler alert: Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father], the teens are rescued, but when they return to society they are unable to function normally. While crossing a street, the pedestrian light turns red, and instead of finishing their walk to the other side... the teens impulsively start dancing in traffic.

Moving my hands around the sink, I felt like those reprogrammed kids dancing in the street. Grown so accustomed the way technology works as part of our lives, that our 'natural' behavior has been reprogrammed to habits that otherwise would make no sense to do!

Video diary

Coming Attractions

Wassup.

This episode discusses the poem Auguries of Innocence by William Blake.

I set up my nice microphone to record some brain thoughts but when it came time to talk, I got noivous.

Audio-Technica ATR2500-USB Cardioid Condenser USB Microphone.

Laptop battery kerplunk-dead'ed at the end of the video. I had to forget all the insightful, meaningful, amazing thoughts that I intended to say, so you're left with these blasé notions of grandeur.

Sorry, act of God, not my fault!

Feature Presentation

Alchemist defined

Alchemist

(ăl′kə-mĭst) n.

1. One who attempts to transform ordinary, dull, and inert matter into valuable, aesthetic, and competent resources.
   
   By understanding an entity's inherent nature, an alchemist attempts to change the internal composition of the entity to imbue it with exceptional qualities.
   
   Of the elements, the primarily goal is to transmute lead into gold.


2. A charlatan; a fraud. Swindler, deceiver, magician, grifter.


3. A colossal failure of pseudo-science. 


4. A practitioner of Natural Philosophy. 

Not to be confused with one who pipettes by mouth!

Voice diary

Audio

Talking to the hot shot in the mirror.



Part deux.

Visual

Land of Oz

The Science of Staying Warm

Field test  

Sunday, December 27th. 8 am.
Quinter, KS.

Temperature inside my car was at freezing water's freezing point last night.

Fractals on my windowpane.
Yes the ice flakes are inside my car!

I wanted to prove I can sleep in my car through 18F cold, and this is proof enough to me.

Outside temperature 20 to 16 F

Temperature between my blankets 66F

Here's my shelter.

Back to work

Study time at the Hays Public Library with Ulix

Hays, KS.

He's guarding my laptop while I skip class to smoke in the boy's bathroom.

(Not a real bear)

Video diary

Special engagement, one-time-only : Daily Vlog!

OK, I lied but your Mom told me she liked it, so you should watch.

So you want to be and to singing? Hmmm?!

Free iPatch Hat with every order. Act now, this limited time offer expires right before you click 'Accept'!

NPC Dialogue from video games

Grant me courage! +2 Courage. Courage up!

Dragon Age: Origins.
Young acolyte atop a windy fortress.

Diablo. Rogue:

Meditations on being a bear by Ulix

Ulix meditating

The Eight Tenants of Being a Bear

The teachings of Ulix the Polar bar,
as explained by his foolish disciple Jonathan
the student has much to learn...

Story of my Life - Home Alone

Dedication

 

The Baton of Ignance

I'm going to describe a racist stereotype. A black woman in a government clerk job, lazy and ignorant. Wielding her ignorance like a baton, flailing haphazardly at any intrusion of reason or logic.

I don't bring up this stereotype to mean all black women are lazy and ignorant. I'm talking to the behavior that is demonstrated by the stereotype... which shows up in people of all kinds... I'm using the example of the stereotype to discuss the... aw hell, it's easier just to pretend I'm being completely racist and accept that some people will interpret it that way, rather than try to explain why I'm not. That baton of ignorance is thick and hefty, packs a wallop and bats precision strikes out of the ballpark discussion.

She's lazy to think beyond what her job requires her to. The breadth of communication is short and she is quick to pass her judgment. Rather than interpret facts, she just looks at a checklist. She don't care, she don't want to know, she won't listen to what you have to say if it doesn't fall within a narrow range of rules. That's all she is willing to think about. So if you don't have form 10A filled out, she will send you right back to the end of the line every time.

That's the kind of eyes I feel like I'm getting looked at, why I feel fear of being misunderstood. That someone representative of rules or authority will see me, pass judgment, and use that authority to separate me from the life I know, strip me of my place of safety, and keep me from who and what I care about.

Chapter IVIXIVVLLCCIIXX1.2: Home Alone

 

When I was 7 years old, I moved to Brookline, MA from England. My family is just me and my parents. We did not know American laws or customs well, and we were poor compared to other families in our neighborhood. After school, I walked home and spent the afternoon in a third floor apartment alone.

Being alone did not frighten me. I enjoyed it. I was proud to take care of myself, that I didn't need a babysitter like my coddled classmates. But I soon discovered I could not tell anyone about my pride.

Perfect Gifts for Jonathan: A List for Santa

Dear Santa,

Merry Happydays!

Here's what's on my Christmas list, Santa.
I've been a very boy. [sic]

Just put my gifts under the muffler. It's kind of like a chimney.
I have an offering of bread and beans.

XoXo (((haaaags)))

Jonathan

P.S. Happy bursday, baby Jesus.

$169 BMW i8 Concept Car

Flute recital

Since nobody wants see a boring post without pictures, let's start off with unrelated humor!

A kid recorded this funny video on a store display tablet. He's pretending to be an old person who does not understand technology!

I don't blame him. Inserting correctly formatted images and embedded media on blogger is a real pain!

Wednesday, December 23. 8pm - 10pm.
Walmart. near Grain Valley, Missouri.

Flute:

Singing:

Being Santa

"Where's the real Santa?"

"You're not the real Santa."

"Erm, no. Santa couldn't be here so he asked me to take his place."

"Where's the real Santa? I want to talk to the real Santa!"

Mother, mouths 'I'm sorry'. "Come on, Leslie. Come now, let the other children have their turn with Santa."

Leslie won't have it. "No! I want to talk to Santa, not him! Let me talk to the real Santa." Her insolence at the world turns into tears.

"Oh darling, there's no need for tears? Tell me what you want this Christmas and I'll tell Santa myself when I see him."

Still crying, she putts between sobs. "I want my Daddy back. Make Santa bring my Daddy back to life."

Banksy - Girl with Balloon

The strained cheerful mask has dropped from her mother's face. She too looks off in my direction with the same plaintive sorrow as her valiant daughter.

The young widow knows I can do nothing to help, but round her tears forms a tragic hope that maybe God, maybe some miracle from her Lord would come at that very instant and take away her loss.

I kneel on one knee and look into the young child's eyes. "I'm sorry for your loss, sweet pea, I wish I could tell Santa and give you what you want, but Santa doesn't have the power to bring people back to life."

"Ms. Mariotta at Sunday school says Jesus died for our sins, and God brought him back to life."

"I'm sorry, dear, but we can't ask God to bring our loved ones back to life. God has a plan for each of us. We can't always understand why God lets our loved ones go, even though we love them and miss them very much."

"But my Daddy was a good man."

"He was a good man. Sad to say, unfortunate events happen to all of us, whether we are good or bad."

"What's the point of being good if my Daddy's dead and God won't bring him back?"

"Aww, honey... we do good things in life but not to be rewarded. It's not to protect ourselves from harm that we ought to be good.

Your Daddy was good to you and Mommy because he loved you very much. He wanted to make your lives happier. That's why he wanted to be a good man.

So you'll always remember him and feel his love, no matter where he is, and his love will always watch over you, even when he is gone."

The mother wipes away a tear and reaches out her arm.

'Thank you.' She hugs me while she holds her daughter's hand.

Maybe I set an example for this young woman, gave her some strength to console her daughter while struggling through her own grief.

Leslie puts her hand on my leg and says, "I'm sorry, Santa, I yelled at you."
The young girl need not say more.

She called me Santa.

Diary in pictures

Capitol Building. Jefferson City, MO.

A Dream Visit

Through the night, heavy rain pelted my car. The rain came in volleys, sheet after sheet. The wind was very strong and rocked my car from side to side.

Sounds of the rain last night

In the morning, I lined the raindrops on my car window up with the trees in the distance to look like the trees grew raindrops out of their branches, or that the trees were wet with rain.

Morning raindrops

I visited my friend from school growing up in a dream last night. We've kept in sparse contact in real life, and have made drop-in visits to his house throughout the time we've known each other, so if this were to happen in real life, it would not be too surprising.

Visiting him in a dream felt the same as if I had visited him in real life. I feel like I did visit him. That it happened in a dream and not real life, seems irrelevant, because the two feel emotionally indistinguishable.

Week 4 Map

It's one month into my journey!  Lunarcy!

Library

And a gravity force measuring device! 144 lb. Better start eating, kid!

Pooblik lyeberrie of tha footure

This library even has a blood pressure machine. Waaaaat.

Giving myself a gold sticker

I'm disappointed, because I have no gold sticker.

All that working toward a goal was happiness, but the completion of that goal is just met with hollow sadness. I have no audience. I am alone.

More so, because before I had a goal and work to do. And now I am just alone, with no celebration or cake (figuratively speaking). I could give it to myself, but that's not what I really want. It would just be a waste of (figurative) money.

Working for myself is having a great, and an awful employer!

You know what...

Mr. Employer, sir, I'm taking a vacation!

Employee: Boss, can I take a few days off?

Boss: (I'm not here right now, on vacation)

Employee: Well, seeing as the boss is gone... he won't object!

Dealt with Adversity

Gold star image

Yay! I finished reading the "How to Deal with Adversity" book by Christopher Hamilton. It has been many years since I read an entire book, yes finished all of it!

I get a gold star sticker and my choice of coloring pictures for free play! Woohoo!

Here are notes I wrote with response to various quotes that prompted my thoughts throughout the book. It's a lot of unorganized brainspew... so... I don't know... wear a hat or something if you intend to look at it!

Dream Diary

Dream log stardate: Tuesday 2016.12.22

there's this green faced guy. his face has been burned off, his skin is melting away. He's crawling on the ground, crawling forward without going anywhere. He asks, 'someone help me'.

This kind of fat, average looking Mexican guy wearing a white tee shirt and sneakers walks over to him. He stands over him, looking at him a bit.

It seems he will just look then walk away without doing anything to help. The burned man crawls underneath a van.

The Mexican says a quick prayer, like may God look over your soul. And with one unexpected stomp of his leg on the van's front tire, he crushes the the van onto the burned man's skull.

Instead of cracking open in a bloody mess, the burned man's face turns green and deflates. A noxious smell escapes from his head and all who are nearby flinch their noses away.

Singing

Into the Void by Black Sabbath

Backseat o' my mobile science house.
6 pm. O'Fallon, MO.

Masochism

Yearning

"If you can see unrequited love or disappointment in love as a window onto the varieties of human experience, and to that extent as something to be welcomed, you will certainly learn something valuable about yourself and about life."- Christopher Hamilton, How to Deal with Adversity, p72.

When I was teens, 14 to around 19, I had intense passions and agonies as normal adolescents do. I felt infatuation to a girl or two who had a naive optimism, sunny disposition, and dealt with social situations with a graceful wholesomeness.

That to me was happiness, and looking at myself, I saw I was all misery and woe. I loved her beauty. I wanted to capture it, immortalize it, enshrine it, and hold it delicately in the palm of my hand. But I felt tainted, soiled with negative thoughts, depression, and resentment.

"Man no longer sees anything as it really is. He underrates his own qualities, and overrates the least favours granted by his beloved. Hopes and fears at once become romantic and wayward."  Stendhal - De l'amour:55. 
- How to Deal with Adversity, p70.

I felt I could not touch their beauty, or I would destroy it; I had to keep away, both because they did not return my affections, and because I feared to corrupt their innocence. Of course, that was a complex in my head, not an objective description, that I followed.

Walmart Virus Depends on You!

Motivational Plaque

I see these daily Walmart stock quotes posted near the employee lounge, saying 'the future of the company depends on you!' and I laugh.

What $180 billion company with 4,655 stores in the United States and 6,288 stores internationally has its stock price depend on the performance of an hourly wage employee!? That's not how the stock market works, number 1... and number 2, it would be a very poor business plan to say the least to have the fate of such a behemoth corporation weigh upon its lowest paid worker.

"Johnson, what's on the agenda for today's board of directors meeting?

Well, sir ... Billy-Bob in Topeka, Kansas didn't smile while clearing a clog in the toilet and a customer posted a dissatisfied review on Google maps.

Good lord, alert the media that our stock prices will drop by 20 cents!"

Diary - Life as art

Life is serious, but art is fun!

- John Irving. The Hotel New Hampshire.
The King of Mice, street clown.

Street clown image

I want to interact with people.

I want to joke about life, talk about why we do the things we do and what they mean to us, and I want to try playful things... social experiments, practical jokes, silly childlike behavior that people can smile and think, why can't more people be like this?

How to Deal with Adversity

Came across this book at the Middendorf Kredell Branch Library by the shopping center in O'Fallon, MO . How to Deal with Adversity by Christopher Hamilton.

The introduction eloquently presented a philosophy that I want to share and comment on.

"The School of Life" name of the book series is pretty funny too. I would make fun of it, but the book itself is good so I won't, or rather... I would like to but I can't find a way!

Driving

Sunday, December 6th

Another driving video from the Smokey Mountains.
I like curves.

Stray

Here's the affable feline from my visit to Hot Springs, NC a few weeks ago.

How to embed audio files to Blogger

Yeah, I deed it mayne!

This tune on the flute is a lil' something I created Friday, ‎March ‎22, ‎2013, ‏‎7:31:06 PM
I call it, "Yearning".

Yearning

How to embed audio with Dropbox

"I will get embedded audio to work!

Step 1. Upload an mp3 to Dropbox.

Hover mouse over the file listing, click "Share", "Create a link", then "Copy link"

Step 2. Get the share link for the file in Dropbox. Change the last digit from 0 to 1 to force browser to download the file

example: https://www.dropbox.com/s/crkque0s2qvlc1i/tune1.mp3?dl=1

Step 3. Switch from "Compose" to "HTML" mode in the Blogger editor, then copy paste the code below:

    <br /><div align="center">Title
    <br /><audio preload="none" controls="controls" height="50px" width="100px">
    <source src="PUTyourURLtoMP3fileHERE
    " type="audio/mpeg"></source>
    <embed height="50px" width="100px"></embed> </audio></div><br /><br />

Step 4. Replace the PUTyourURLtoMP3fileHERE with the actual URL.

Example:

    <br /><div align="center">Yearning
    <br /><audio preload="none" controls="controls" height="50px" width="100px">
    <source src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/crkque0s2qvlc1i/tune1.mp3?dl=1
    " type="audio/mpeg"></source>
    <embed height="50px" width="100px"></embed> </audio></div><br /><br />

See Also:

Embed Audio/Video to Blogger Cheatsheet
    (Bookmark this page and copy paste from it!)

Embed Video to Blogger from Google Photos

Embed YouTube Video and Start at Specific Time

Diary

Saturday, 12/19

O'Fallon, MO. Walmart.

Flute rehearsal

Outside St. Louis, people seem like normal decent folk. I had a great time playing for the locals. Got to chat with a few and exchange some info's.

1 hr music

My shadow giving me a 'thumbs up!'

Public Library

This is the most interesting library I've ever been in. It's located at the end of a strip mall highway. The interior feels like a bookstore.

There's office supplies you can use.

 Place even has slidey doors when you come in... and shopping carts!?

My study area.

Define St.Louis

Here's what urbandictionary.com contributors had to say about St. Louis. I found these descriptions hilarious and I'm inclined to agree. It's an ass-crack of a city.

The arch, a retarded knockoff.

Girls only care about what you drive and how much money you make.

Guys in st. Louis are pink polo shirt wearing, collar poppin', wanna be frat boy douchebags.

Everyone in St. Louis thinks they know each other so you will be constantly asked where you went to high school and who you know.

The word ignorant is used non-stop and no one really knows what it means.

Diary - St. Louis

Friday 12/18 

St. Louis, Missouri

Busking

Since it's Friday, lots of people shopping, things get hectic so I wanted to be considerate. And last time asking had good results, so I talked to the store managers before playing flute in their parking lot.

Tennessee people were real, and talking to them was safe without contraceptive. But St. Louis people 'round here seem pretty fake.

Costco

Costco store manager and vice-manager go: we would like to let you play, but then we'd have to let everyone else too. Hey buddy, I am everyone else. Just say you don't want me to play, don't act like oh it would be alright if we let you play, but we want to prevent everyone else from playing.

That's not even an actual reason for not letting me play. Because the subsequent question they don't answer is, OK, so why can't everyone else play either? They'd have some additional bullshit answer, without telling me any actual rule the company has against playing music.

Shopping mall

Talked to a Mall manager out of curiosity. He said I'd have to get approval from marketing, and asked when did I want to play. I said now. He said they'd have to go through that in advance and approve it. I was like okay that's fine, it doesn't sound practical so I won't play music today, and I was getting ready to go. 

But before I could break the conversation this guy gave me some bullshit about mall has to pay anytime someone plays music inside. I was like, wait a minute... I was about to walk away then you talked down to me like I would cost the mall money if I played my flute and that's why I can't play... I'm fine with you saying no. But don't give me a phony ass excuse.

He's like this isn't new, it's been going on for years it's the way it works. Copyrighted music, yes of course, I'm not a fucking idiot. So I ask what about music that's public domain? I'm fine with you telling me there's a process to go through to get that approved and marketing division red tape has to do that. But don't say stupid shit to me like, hey son, don't you realize the mall would have to pay money to let you play?

I was like, classical music the composer has been dead for 300 years, who do you pay for that? Traditional music with no composer, who do you pay for that? He insisted someone would need to be paid. So I asked him what if I play my own music, who do you pay? And he said, well you didn't say it was your original music, you just said music. Yeah no shit, you didn't ask. Why would I tell you which songs I'm playing without you asking? You just looked at me, assumed some shit about me, and felt like taking a jab at me before I left, fucking douche.

Traffic

This mall has no public WiFi, so I'm just stealing electricity at the food court. I can't leave this place because traffic outside is horrendous. From 2:45 to 4:45, I been trapped in the area because of traffic. It's 5:30 and I don't expect traffic to get any better for several hours.

Goodwill

The wind was strong today. My fingers froze while I played flute out at the park. It was 33 degrees, so I needed a pair of gloves for next time I play.

I got a pair of gloves with a ten finger discount from Goodwill, because the gloves were unpriced, detached, and only survived the toss bin because they got velcroed onto another pair of gloves. They were soft black cotton made in china with no realistic value. I just put them on and walked out of the store instead of waiting the slow cashier line, making the staff figure out a bogus price, and possibly get charged some stupid price for a pair of 5 cent gloves.

Gateway to the West

I drove up to the Arch in downtown around 9pm. I didn't get out and walk under it, because I had a bad experience driving around there. Don't ever drive into this landing area at the bottom of a hill. There are cobblestone paths the entire way that have been so warped, it's like driving across stone bubble wrap. Google maps wasn't helping with its directions either.

Google Maps, how I do this?
Drive on a road toward itself?
What means?

My car barely went 1 mph, and my wheels were bouncing up, down, left, right like a popcorn maker. It would almost be cool, if there were signs warning you before you got at the bottom of the hill and the driving experience wasn't so terrible.

Also, how do you build a stone cobble street so damn poorly that it can't stay straight, fuck. The Russians and Chinese can build cobble paths that stay straight after a hundred years, St. Louisians are just fail.

Billboard signs

There were billboard signs for Chuck's Boots everywhere around St. Louis. They had these beautiful leggy model babes pose in ugly boring boots. After seeing the fifth one, I was sold on checking out the ladies - I mean store... but none of the billboards told me where the store was located.

Stolen image courtesy of DuckDuckGo search

It can't be that common that I should know where it is, right? I mean, even McDonald's billboards tell you where to exit. I think this guy named Chuck just bought a lot of billboards without thinking about where they would be placed and how to post directions.

I actually did glimpse a Chuck's Boots across the highway, as I pulled out of a parking lot and thought, that dumb sumofabitch Chuck was right, I did find his store somehow, even without directions!

Talk Plain

Man, these white collar trash give me auditory AIDS.

"That place is excellent. That place is a gold mine." Hear it here
"They're alright. I don't think they're great, they're alright."

Must be because I'm close to St. Louis that there's more of these college-degree consumer drones spreading their venereal disease through the airwaves.

When I say, 'Talk plain' this is what I mean... don't talk like these fake self-bragging airheads. If you like something, just say you like it. Don't turn it into amazing, or really great. Inflecting your voice to draw attention to yourself, making your life sound so interesting and making everything out to be so incredible, omg. It's phony, it's 'life is all about me me me', it's superficial, and it's fucking AIDS, man.

Voice diary

Friday 12/18/2015

Voice diary entry here: 1hr 30min.

Snouts and entrails journal entry:

$6.49 Asian buffet. Thank you, Missouri! You're much better than that ILLinois. Get it? You see what I did there?

Happiness +1. Happiness get. Happiness up! 

Walmart WiFi reaches across the parking lot. Fuck yes! No wait, it cuts out anytime someone drives past the entrance. Fuck no! LOL.

Today is Friday, so I can get the weekday price for lunch. Tomorrow will be weekend prices, so then it may be a good time for grilling with my charcoal.

The weather is nice. I could play my flute at the Costco in the afternoon.

Remember, sing, make science, do art unto people to happiness make. And do those fucking problem sets until they are done, but don't let them slow you down or fuck you in the bum without lube. Always use lube.

I need an offline HTML editor, so I can write posts without messing up the formatting. Oh yeah, I can export this note as html then copy paste it to the blogger. It's a cumbersome method, but it should work.

Offline blogging software can't connect to blogger, because Big Google Brother uses 2-step authentication which prevents third party apps from connecting to the account. Google, develop your own fucking software and sell it already, so there's some way to blog offline without using your shitty WYSIWY don't G browser portal.

Image formatting is the biggest time waster. Blogger always puts the wrong html tags before and after images and screws up the spacing between texts. Computers fail at everything a person programs it to do. (The programmers fail.)

Bitch and moan some more, why don't you? No, fuck you, I'm done. I'm outa here byeeeeeee.

I listened to a recording of me yawning, and it caused me to yawn. Yawning is contagious through audio alone! It's not a visual or hormonal trigger.

Diary in pictures

Shaved my head at an empty campground site, with working electrical outlet!

Someone drove by and freaked me out. I'm paranoid about getting into trouble, so I quickly packed up my shaver, stood up, and gashed my monk's head on the metal cover of the electrical post. Ouch!